Life is Good...

IN the midst of the storm.. God is GOOD!  

6 years ago this week.. I lost my job... Thanksgiving week..(after almost 20 years)  can you imagine.. what a horrid time to lose a job..  add to it that we had purchased our dream home about 6 months earlier... the Pressure was intense..absolutely crushing... and yet I knew that God would take care of us.  And he has..

It hasn't been easy.. things have been tighter than i ever wanted them to be..I've had to work more hours than I have since I was in my 20's.  and for a longer time than I planned.. but we have never been without a home.. we have had vehicles to get to work and our kids have been able to do some things.

God is Faithful. 

I've learned a few things along the way..

It really isn't about the Job.. I'm not the job.. the job isn't me.. I'm more than that...
I really do love my wife and kids... I wish that I could spend more time with them..
I wish that I would have done  the Dave Ramsey plan earlier... I wouldn't be as tight now if i had.
But that being said... I won't be in this place for much longer... and I won't go back to where I was again.
I really want to help the orphans... www.showhope.com
God is preparing me for something awesome..

I firmly believe that we are tested to make us stronger.. and to prepare for something coming down the road that we are either to face or that we are to do..

these last few years I believe are preparing me for something to do.. and the whole time God is at my side saying... I'm with you.. I'm here.  don't worry . I'm beside you..
the neat thing is is that he is beside you too.. no matter what you are going through..He is beside you.

The things you learn.....

Its been a week here... yes one of those kind of weeks.... Not all bad but challenging...

And all that I can think about is Grace.....

let me step back a bit and fill in some of the back story and maybe make some sense of why Grace is so much in my mind this week..

We had a situation in our town that has caused a lot of soul searching for those of us who are professing Christians.. A highly respected member of the clergy and business  was found dead this week of suicide.. Shocking  to say the least.. but the worst was yet to come.. it seems that he was under investigation for abuse..sexual abuse of a minor when he was much younger..  the initial incident seems to have occurred over 40 years ago. 

This  member of the clergy was a tireless worker.. Creating socially active responsible entities to help those who needed help. Health care. hospice care, homeless shelters.. all good things.. and yet in the end it seems his faith failed him.. Suicide is not an option..It just isn't..
I don't know where he ended up at the end of the fall that caused his death.. whether he asked forgiveness or not and whether it was genuine or not.. all I know is he is dead.. and a ton of people are hurting..

My wife and i have talked a few times this week about this.. wondering why?  How? and is  he in Heaven...I don't know the answers to that but this I can surmise..
In retrospect..
His Faith was based on works.. LORD see how much I have done for thee.. that pays for the sins I have committed.. right?
the problem is is that when the sin was found out or released.. that he realized he could not do enough to atone for the sin that was committed..  And not being sure of his Faith felt ot he wayside..

This is where Grace comes in... Grace is how we are truly saved.. WE cannot do enough to atone for a white lie or a half truth.. We can't..Sin is SIN is SIN.. murder, fib,idolatry, gluttony its all the same Its SIN.
and it keeps us from the love of GOD and his mercy..

the works we do are good.. but they cannot be the basis of our faith.. Our faith comes through Christ and Christ alone.. it is only because of his atoning death on the Cross that we are able to spend eternity with him.

If  your view is that well,   I'm good enough..I've done enough.. I'm a good person..(most of the time). God will let me into heaven.. I'm sorry but your wrong.. we must accept the free gift of grace that Jesus Christ provides..  It is so simple and yet... It's not... because at that point we are no longer in control...  and we will try and rest that away on a regular basis.. but here is the neat thing.. when we do that.. and realize it and ask God for Forgiveness.. the Grace thing comes into play again.. and he gives us more Grace and forgives us.

So Grace is a great thing!  it is through Grace that we are saved..it sis through Grace that we stay saved and it is through Grace that we are able to call on the Father and ask for more of that Grace..

need more info  check out http://www.trcbangor.com/

Beauty will rise....

listening to "Beauty Will Rise" by Steven Curtis Chapman.. I know its not his new album but this is usually how I do it.. a couple years after a album comes out.I buy it on the cheap in the markdown bin or on sale..
This one though I have had for a while and have actually refused to listen to it..
my reasoning..  I know where this album comes from.. the darkness of death.. the death of a child.. if there is a fear that I have it is that..that I will lose a child before I am gone..
I cannot imagine the pain.. even though I have seen it enough.. two of my siblings have lost children and my wife lost her brother shortly after we were married... It is hard enough from the outside.. I cannot imagine the pain...
 but listen to it i have.. and I'm listening to the title track right now... 

the thought has occurred to me.. GOD thinks much of Steven and his family.. He would not have given them a story as painful to tell if He wasn't sure that they would be able to live it out..
God promises that he will not give us more than we can bear.. He also promises that He will be beside us..
cliches.. I know.. but it is true..  He loves us so much... Even in the storm he is beside us..

none of us are immune to pain.. hurt. death..even after we become Christians.. Remember this..It is not that we will not have troubles, pain, death, hurt, people who lie about us, gossip and things that just aren't right  happen but the key is.. We know that everything that happens has a purpose.. either for us or for someone else  and the purpose is to promote the Kingdom of God.

see as Believers our life is not our own.. it is used by God to show who he is and what he is like.. WE are the reflection of GOD..

God said that he was like us in all respects that he knew what we went through.. He was like us..
Consider this  God the Father allowed his Son to die on the Cross.. So he understands the pain of losing a son/daughter.. it wasn't easy I'm sure.

and Yet if he didn't do this we would not be able to spend eternity with him..

Its not always in the easy things that we see God.. It is in the Hard things..

God find me faithful to accept the hard things..even when I don't understand..

For you are GOD and i am not.

light in the tunnel

It's been a month since I wrote...   lots of stuff keeping me away.. not much of it real important other than it needed to be done...

anyhoo.. as some of you know we are following a modified  Dave Ramsey plan to get out of debt... Modified in this manner.. we take vacations.. or getaways.. weekend or otherwise.  one of those is coming up this weekend.. really need it.. it's been a long 3 months since Soulfest..

I/we are at the point in this journey that we can see the end of the tunnel.. the light is dim at the end but it is there.  And that is causing some frustration on my part... I can see that with an additional small sum of money I could be where the light is bright.. not dim..

 I know I need the weekend away.. my wife and I have promised ourselves we will go away for a weekend every two to three months.. just us.. no kids. we spent a lot of years doing nothing for our relationship.. no time for us.. going from one event or need of the kids to another.  We finally realized a few years ago that in doing that we were headed for a large strain when the kids left..  We have decided that it isn't going to happen.. I refuse to be the guy in the divorce section of the paper where it says married 1989 divorced finalized 2015.. And everyone that reads it goes..WOW is that sad.. wonder what happened.?  I can tell you what happened... He spent that last 25 years raising the kids..paying the bills.. and forgot about the lady that he married and wanted to spend the rest of his life with..   Consider this.. We have our Children in our home for 18-25 years each..  We will be married to our spouses for over 50 years..   You have a lot longer time with the spouse than the child..  take care of the spouse too... your children will appreciate it...

So if all goes as planned.. I will have removed two to three large bills(payments) by the end of December.. Freeing up cash to pay the other bills quicker.. WE are in the acceleration phase.. I cannot wait to eliminate those payments.. with 9 months I should only have the truck and the house.. :) 

if you haven't checked him out  check out http://www.davereamsey.com/

DEBT FREE

I'm not a writer by nature..i'm more of a talker.. although at this point in my life i'm not much of that either..i'm more of a get it done or get out of my way kind of person right now..

I struggle with that.. I have some respponsibilities and time constraints that make it the way it is.. but it really isn't what I want to be.. but for now it is..   soon however I will be able to be more of the talker.. and maybe the writer...

we (my wife and I and the kids by default) have been on a debt free plan/kick /budget for almost two years now.. We are getting close... we should have everything but the truck and the house  paid for in about 6 months..  that my friend is a great thing...

The journey has not been easy and it won't get any easier once we get to the goal...

We have lived within our means for two years... no credit cards.. no loans( well we did consolidate some when we first got started).. whatever we made that is what we have spent.. no more and unfortunately not a whole lot less..
 but we are getting close...

its kind of interesting though.. we have done more..traveled/ actually vacationed more now than we did when we didn't do this... intriguing to say the least.. 

not to say that money isn't tight... unexpected bills really throw a wrench into the plan.. but we are on the journey..the goal is that in 5 years.. when I am 50.. that we will have no debt... no house no cars nothing.. and that we will have the savings to retire when we are ready.. can it be done.. I think so..  when we started two years ago i had over  $50,000 in debt outside of the house...  we are now down to aprox $35,000.. the majority of that is my truck...

its coming.. someday soon.. I will have my debt free friday.. I WILL!

but that is nothing compared to the debt that Christ paid for me on the cross.. It truly was a debt that I could not pay.. He took it upon himself..to pay my/our debt... and how? He died on the Cross for our sins,  He did it for us.. but.. there is one requirement to have your sin debt paid off..
 Do you know what it is?
It's very simple....

YOU have to ask..

Soulfest Recap!

Soulfest!  vacation for us.. we go every year.. What is it?  For those of us of a certain age.. it's reminiscent of Woodstock.. or farmaid..   Its a week of music..and fellowship..  It's held the first week in August every year at Gunstock Mountian  in Gilford NH.

Now by music.. I mean all kinds of Music.. Christian Themed but a great variety of Genres..
Pop,Contemporary, folk, Worship, Rock, Hard Rock, Alt Rock, Heavy metal,Screamo,etc.. as you can tell see it has wuite the variety.. It has 5 stages.. and aprox 125 bands/speakers over the 4 days that it is full on..

Now we go early on Tuesday to set up camp and leave on Sunday Morning.. in between are great concerts/workshops and good food and great deals on cds and the such.

This year headliners were Skillet, Switchfoot, Chris Tomlin.  additionally Sanctous real, Thousand foot krutch,Brian"head" welch, flatfoot 56,Caleb and many others were their..

Check them out at http://www.thesoulfest.com/..

Highlights were the Skillet concert  tuesday night..the absolutely best concert show that I have ever been to..no question.  meeting and hearing the band "Caleb" for the first time (Steven Curtis Chapmans sons) and a band I had never heard of   "Phone Calls From Home"..  "Exiting the fall" was good as well but not my style of music.  didn't hear them but the buzz on "Epic season" was very good.

A constant highlight for us every year is Paul Coleman.. former "Newsboy"..former and current member of the "Paul Coleman Trio".  He did a songwriters workshop everyday for almost two hours..it was awesome and gave me some real insight into how the process works..  My daughter loved it as well.  As she is planning on pursuing a career in music  it was good for her to see some of the process.

another thing i like is the coffe that they have at the festival..it is called bolivias best.. and it supports a minstry called IOU ministries of bolivia..  check them out at http://www.ioubolivia.com/  great coffee at a great price.. we buy our refillable cup on the first day.. $25 and then get free refills all week. :) 

Soulfest is not just about the music . It is also about opening eyes to issues that we may not have known about.. for example  Love is not for sale is a program that  reaches in and rescues those who are enslaved. Not only overseas.. but here in the US.. Here in New England.. Boston, Manchester, NH Connecticut.  additionally they help prosecute by providing information and training to those who are trying to stop this.  check them out as well at  http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/

its amazing.. you need ot check it out.. Nest year.. Aug 1-4  2012  Gunstock Mountain, Gilford NH

SHOW HOPE

Show Hope/ Soulfest... I've been trying for almost a month to figure out how to say what I want to say about Show Hope and our vacation to Soulfest...
Here goes...
this will not be smooth .. It will be disjointed and probalby very hard to read but it will be the thought process involved.. so bear with me..

First let me say that Show Hope was more than I thought it was and the people were more than I could have imagined.  A big shout out to Jesse Blinn and Emily Hollingsworth..YOu made us feel very welcome and it was a pleasure to work along side you for the short period  we did.. We will be back Next year..

Show Hope..  let me explain.. its about adoption aid..its about taking care of the least of the least.. but its not you need to  go out.and .adopt someone. or lets build another orphanage and store some kids...

It truly is about the kids and gettting them to their forever home...
the thing that impressed me so much was that it isn't about doing what others are doing in orphan care its about coming alongside and supporting and assisting .  Its  kind of like supporting a missionary in  your home church that goes out to Japan, or China, or the bowery, or the combat zone.. YOU  dont go but what you do allows them to continue to make a difference.. Show Hope is doing that... they are coming along side adoption agencies and allowing them to fulfill the calling that is there ministry. 

For someone who is concerned about orphans but doesn't feel that I should adopt. This is what I need.. this is the place for me to do, to work ,to help.    As I learned more about how it works it was like God was saying..Kevin  it's ok not to adopt.. I didn't ask you to do that.. but I am asking you to speak about this.. to tell those that you know about this program..  this ministry..

I always felt weird or ashamed when I realized that I had no desire to adopt a child.. especially when a missionary would come and talk about the children left behind.. that were waiting.. (140 million of them!)
but its ok...  some of us need to be behind the scenes providing the funds, the support, the foundation, the prayers..  
and that is what I will be doing..

praying, supporting, promoting, offering it out.. 

if you want to know more.. message me.. go to http://www.showhope.org/  

Soulfest memories will be in another post...

traveling.... and trust

We leave today for the actual vacation part of our vacation.. Yes!  NH here we come..

Its funny how you anticipate something sooo much, worry about things, the weather do we have enough food, snacks whatever do we have enough clothes, did we bring /pack the right clothes?

as I do this I'm reminded of the passages in the Bible that say that we should not worry about these things..

to look at the lilies of the field  and that they are clothed in beauty. and if God will clothe those temporary things with such beauty what do we need to be worrying about..  (Mathew 6:28) 

I understand it but its very hard to do..isn't it.

and then I'm reminded that God is building us a house.. a house with many rooms so that when we finish our time on earth that we can and will live with him..(John14:2-3)

how neat is it that God has already taken care of us here, and he is getting ready for us in Heaven..

Now if only we could allow God the true opportunity to do that for us..

so about now your going..what did this have to do with the title of this post..

well here it is.. We are not of this world. (those of us who are Christians) We are in this world traveling through waiting to go home.. We are on a life long Missions trip... and we need to trust the one who set it up for us..he knows better than we..

so we are traveling and trusting.....  til another day may God bless you richly.

a place close to the heart...

So we are traveling this week.. off on our week of vacation!  Hopefully a time of refreshing.  A ti\ime of renewal..  those of you who are in Christian circles will recognize the phrases as church cliches.. and yet that is what this will be.. as busy as we will be it will be just that.

we are heading to a music festival held in the mountains of NH.. http://www.thesoulfest.com/   It's  a great time.. 3rd year in a row that we have gone..  lots of bands..lots of speakers.. lots of time with followers and seekers of Christ.

This year we are doing some things differently.. we have decided to volunteer for one of the sponsors and help out at the table/tent  whatever they have set up for a shift.. We are volunteering for http://www.showhope.org/
last year Cindi and Michala went to a Women of Faith conference and saw Mary Beth Chapman. and bought her book.  "Choosing to SEE"   i finally read it about two months ago.. Great book.. no dry eyes on this hardened old man..  so we have the option to help.. I'll put it out there right now.. NO we are not intending to adopt, nor are we thinking about it..   I have a 16 year old and a 20 year old..  enough said..

We are camping on site and cannot wait to see where we are and who are neighbors are.. We are tenting and get a little better at it each year..   mind you before we did this  I never tented, never wanted to and would never consider it.. its not bad but Cindi and I are considering a camper of some sort for a few  years down the road.

looking forward to the music this year.. skillet,switchfoot, chris tomlin, paul coleman, caleb, Glenridge ,exiting the fall, and af course the bands that I haven't heard before and finding the ones that I like..

being a cheapskate at heart..i'm anxiously awaiting the sales that wll occur in the vendor tents..  books  music, t-shirts and the like.. what a great way to builld a library... or give books and music away when  you return,

anyhoo. i'm about done for today... I might try to do a small post everyday with my phone.. enjoy the week.

waiting to transition

I sit here with my coffee (number 3 I think) on one of my half days off this week.. and I'm musing over things.. regrets/ wishes/hopes and dreams...
I'm 45 and definitely not where I wanted to be financially at this point in life.. I work two jobs that average about 10 dollars an hour.. I average approximately 75 hours a week and am not home much at all..
not a great place to be... at least for me right now..
don't get me wrong.. I'm here because of decisions that I have made and some that others have made for me..  and I'm here because we have a plan to not be here for much longer. but it isn't much fun..

I also feel that we are in a waiting period..a holding period.. a period that is betwixt and between..

I'm relatively driven to succeed at what I do..and usually have a plan of what comes next.. right now I don't.. and that my friends is weird..  weirder still is the fact that I know, that I know, that I know something is coming down the road that is going to be a game changer.

A little background.

 6 years ago we moved back to Maine from New Hampshire.. family considerations made the decision relatively easy for us.. sold our home and bought a home after renting for a year.. 6 months after that I lost my job..sold that home with Gods grace and moved to a rental home that my inlaws owned..bought that home and then sold that to purchase the home we are in now.

we live in my wifes grandparents home.. it needs work.. we knew it when we bought it and we know it now.
we have/had plans to pay it off and build a new home on this lot which is a fantastic intown lot with the feel of being in the woods.

and yet.. we don't believe that we will stay here... both my wife and I have sensed that it is time to move/leave to transition to another place..another something..  but we have no idea what it is at this point.

a new job.. a new place to live.. a new...or is it rather just something different.

sometimes I feel like I assume Joshua felt.. the promised land is over there.. I can almost taste it but... it's not ready.. or I'm not ready...   and so I wait on what would could or should be..

so having done all.. I will stand... waiting.. expecting... trying desperately to see through the fog in the mirror

the unpleasant unexpected..

This is one of the first blog posts I ever wrote.. almost 4 years ago.. for another blog I had..

liked it and wanted it on this one.. :)

THE UNPLEASANT UNEXPECTED
The unpleasant unexpected. What is the unpleasant unexpected??? it is the things that occur that affect us but we didn't plan for. Simply put we don't like them and we weren't planning on them but in the end they become used of God for the good of those around us and for ourselves. What do I mean? we don't plan to lose our job or to have spouse die or to be accused of something we didn't do but these things happen. Do they have a benefit down the road.. yeah they do..We may not even begin to understand why but in the end they have great benefit, take Elisabeth Elliot. She lost her husband early in her life to the people that they were trying to minister to... (through the gates of splendor) Could it get much more horrible than that?I don't think so.. and yet.. what occurred after was greater than what could have occurred if it had not occurred. so while the unpleasant unexpected occurred the end result was a great victory for the LORD. Paul experienced the unpleasant unexpected many times in his life and yet he knew that it was for the best that these things happen. they weren't pleasant. they weren't expected and yet... the end result was positive..; in labors more abundantly, in prisons more abundantly, in stripes above measure, in deaths oft. 24 Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. 25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day have I been in the deep; 26 in journeyings often, in perils of rivers, in perils of robbers, in perils from my countrymen, in perils from the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 in labor and travail, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.2 Cor 11:22-27 (ASV)32 In Damascus the governor under Aretas the king guarded the city of the Damascenes in order to take me: 33 and through a window was I let down in a basket by the wall, and escaped his hands.2 Cor 11:32-33 (ASV)Did Paul expect these things? were they pleasant? NO. They were not and yet...For Gods Glory these things occurred,2 Count it all joy, my brethren, when ye fall into manifold temptations; 3 Knowing that the proving of your faith worketh patienceJames 1:2-3 (ASV)Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds James 1:2 NivIt was through the unpleasant unexpected that God was able to show who he was to Paul and to Elisabeth Elliot.Are you in a time of the unpleasant unexpected? Consider it pure Joy.For it is in these times that God reveals himself in ways that one cannot fathom before...It is in these times that God shows us a different side of who he is than we have seen before...it is in these times that God shows us a personlity of his we have never seen beforeCount it all Joy when the unpleasant unexpected comes knocking on your door..because...........we have no idea what is beyond the unpleasant unexpected

A New Start

Greetings..
A new start blogging.. :) 

why a distant land? I have a great amount of wanderlust right now..ready to pick up and move..anywhere but here.. It won't happen but...

The plan for this blog is to really put some effort into it.. less writing and more thought.. 
thats it for now...

I will see you tomorrow..