waiting to transition

I sit here with my coffee (number 3 I think) on one of my half days off this week.. and I'm musing over things.. regrets/ wishes/hopes and dreams...
I'm 45 and definitely not where I wanted to be financially at this point in life.. I work two jobs that average about 10 dollars an hour.. I average approximately 75 hours a week and am not home much at all..
not a great place to be... at least for me right now..
don't get me wrong.. I'm here because of decisions that I have made and some that others have made for me..  and I'm here because we have a plan to not be here for much longer. but it isn't much fun..

I also feel that we are in a waiting period..a holding period.. a period that is betwixt and between..

I'm relatively driven to succeed at what I do..and usually have a plan of what comes next.. right now I don't.. and that my friends is weird..  weirder still is the fact that I know, that I know, that I know something is coming down the road that is going to be a game changer.

A little background.

 6 years ago we moved back to Maine from New Hampshire.. family considerations made the decision relatively easy for us.. sold our home and bought a home after renting for a year.. 6 months after that I lost my job..sold that home with Gods grace and moved to a rental home that my inlaws owned..bought that home and then sold that to purchase the home we are in now.

we live in my wifes grandparents home.. it needs work.. we knew it when we bought it and we know it now.
we have/had plans to pay it off and build a new home on this lot which is a fantastic intown lot with the feel of being in the woods.

and yet.. we don't believe that we will stay here... both my wife and I have sensed that it is time to move/leave to transition to another place..another something..  but we have no idea what it is at this point.

a new job.. a new place to live.. a new...or is it rather just something different.

sometimes I feel like I assume Joshua felt.. the promised land is over there.. I can almost taste it but... it's not ready.. or I'm not ready...   and so I wait on what would could or should be..

so having done all.. I will stand... waiting.. expecting... trying desperately to see through the fog in the mirror